By Beverly S. Talan, Ph.D.

Often couples arrive at my office or workshops in a disaster type relationship, and are near or at break-up. They express feelings of despair and hopelessness. They have been through a long term power struggle, and are finding it difficult or impossible to live in an environment, "for the sake of the children," in constant disappointment, and/or one filled with anger and resentment. They are ready to divide up their assets, divorce and leave this unloving relationship. The pain is too much to endure. Mediation of the divorce to minimize the adversarial struggle is one way that I may be helpful to this couple.

There is an alternative to dealing with these shattered dreams. IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY or a WORKSHOP FOR COUPLES may be a way to channel the conflict into the dissolution of the problems. Divorce does not solve problems in the relationship. It provides an exit from the partner with whom the conflict is no longer bearable. We may get rid of this partner, but the problems are re-enacted in future relationships. GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT WORKSHOPS FOR COUPLES or IMAGO RELATIONSHIP THERAPY are alternatives which may be used as a "last ditch effort" to move a difficult relationship to one of understanding of yourself and your partner. Understanding the unconscious forces that attract you to your partner alleviates the possibility of repeating old patterns in a new relationship should you, in fact, decide to divorce. If you have a relationship you would like to keep, but all efforts up to now have failed, this workshop or therapy will teach you how to reestablish the excitement and connection of the earlier time of your relationship.

Through new and "safe" communication techniques, you may create doable changes in behavior designed to replace anger and resentment. Learn to give up blame and criticism as a major weapon, and instead to develop a conscious relationship which includes compassion and appreciation for your partner. Create a mutual vision for the present and future in which you ultimately grow personally and learn to have fun together. Remember: You can always divorce. That's FINAL!

Bevery S. Talan, Ph.D., is a Psychologist/Marriage Therapist and is certified as an Imago Relationship Therapist for couples and singles and a Workshop for Couples Presenter in Birmingham, Mmichigan. To find out more about this exciting alternative approach to divorce, call Dr. Talan at (248)642-3667 or write to her at her e-mail address, Btalan@aol.com.

Posted on Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 02:41PM by Registered CommenterSite Administrator in | Comments Off

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