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In these troubled economic times, more and more people are turning to the protection of the U.S. Bankruptcy Code to resolve their debts and protect their property from foreclosure and repossession. The current global debt situation has risen to epic levels and an increasing number of people have sought the assistance of a bankruptcy attorney.
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Parenting time is the number of overnights that each parent has with the child or children as the result of a divorce action or a paternity action. It is based upon the Child Custody Act, and the same factors that are reviewed by the courts in determining child custody, are also looked at with regard to parenting time. Parenting time can run the gamut from one parent having the children most of the time, and the other parent having a set schedule, such as alternate weekends and maybe one evening a week for dinner and alternate holidays, along with time set forth during the summer and school breaks, to a situation where the parties may have equal parenting time with various schedules being set forth by agreement or set by the court. Every situation is different and a parenting time schedule that makes sense for an infant or young child, will make no sense for a nine or ten-year-old. Teenagers will often need very different schedules because they want to spend more time with their friends, along with their involvement in school activities, and less and less time with either parent.
In these tough economic times, where people are trying to save money and want to have an amicable divorce, an excellent way to do this is through a pre-divorce mediation package. I have handled several of these successfully, and would like to explain how it works.
Both the husband and wife meet with an attorney who specializes in family law and is also certified as a mediator, as are all of the attorneys at Gornbein Smith Peskin-Shepherd. An agreement is reached at the first meeting that the attorney will be acting as a mediator and will not be representing either the husband or wife in the divorce. The role of the attorney will be to meet with the parties to cover all issues in the divorce in an effort to help them resolve everything in an amicable fashion.
9. Find out as much about your financials as possible before you file a divorce, so that there will be no surprises.
8. Try to find out as much as possible about your job security and if you aren’t employed, see what your options are for employment.
7. Carefully consider all options, especially whether or not the marriage can be saved.
6. Think about your house. Does it have a negative equity? Can you afford the payments? Do you want to stay in the house, or leave?
9. Once your divorce is filed, find out as much as you can about the judge.
8. Stay out of court as much as possible because court appearances are costly, not only financially, but also from an emotional standpoint. Judges will not know you or your case unless you are in a situation where you are in court every week on motions or hearings, and often the judge will be getting a very negative impression of you.
7. Make sure that you and your attorney are well prepared before you go to court. Floundering around in court can create a bad impression, and is also costly.
6. Through your attorney, see if your judge is one who will cut court appearances to minimize expense. This can be done by, in some instances, having original pre-trials and some court appearances done by phone if the judge and the other attorney will agree.
Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex-husband. This is the real work of divorce recovery: becoming a single woman possessed of confidence, self-esteem, an enthusiasm for life and most important, a complete break from the emotional turmoil that led to your divorce in the first place.
All too often, women experience the same conflicts with their ex that originally led to divorce: constant arguments, reactive behavior leading to emotional upsets, old patterns of reliance, the barrage of destructive barbs aimed at your self-esteem and deep hurts. To truly be divorced you must put forth great effort and inner work that will sever your ties to your ex and you must build a structure that will facilitate that work.
Let me give you examples: You and your ex have children together therefore you must be in contact with one another on a regular basis. Unfortunately, your discussions with him always end in an argument. Nothing happens easily. The deep resentments and hurts suffered in your marriage and actual divorce remain intact. You each know each other’s hot buttons and continue to push those buttons resulting in upsets. It’s the old marriage still running the game. You continually get sucked into this abyss.